Will I Ever?

Loss is the most difficult thing to deal with. Its hard, nothing i do really helps. Its been months, well 8 months to be precise. To date i still cant believe. It feels like yesterday. I have lost the will to live, the will to even be happy for a moment. I feel like whats the point even. I havent even went to my dads grave to date since we burried him with the thought that one day someone will say it was a joke or a prank. I have so much to tell him, ask him and also thank him for. I am not my dads last borns but hey i feel like I am. With him i couldn't even care what happens. My dad was my happy place. Now i dont even know who or where to turn to. I spent my whole life with him but i still wish for more time with him. I dont even know if i will ever be ok. I am hurt, too hurt. Can this pain pass already.

Raising A Girl Child in South Africa

By Rebecca Masina

South Africa has become one of the top countries where raising a girl child has become very impossible. The country has become one of the most dangerous places to raise a girl child. Women and children are being kidnapped and killed left right and center. In a day over 100 cases of missing girls are opened. The results always end up with a body having to be identified. Our girls are now the biggest targets and they are no longer safe.

What do we when our own are killing us? What did we do for you to be on a female killing spree? Tell us so we can apologize. Tell us so we can know better. We are your sisters, your aunts, your nieces, your friends, your mothers,
Your grandparents, your wives and more. Are we wrong to be in this world? Where should we run to when you, our shields are now killing us?

Women are being raped and killed every day. How long is this going to take? We are afraid of going to school, work and other places. We live in fear. Is that how things are supposed to be? We plead with you. Stop killing us.

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February ❤️The Love Month 2020

By Rebecca Masina. 

That month is here! Are you ready? 🤗 Most believe that February is a month of love and one should be spending the month if not the 14th with their loved ones. Its a day that is considered to be an appreciation day, where partners honor each other with love, gifts and more. Do you celebrate the love month? Or for you its just like any other day? Well; we not saying you wrong. We all have our own opinions and feelings about this month and its theme. However check out our top ten list of things to do with your bae on this love month.

Top 10 Things to do with Bae This Valentines Day

1. Have a picnic day at botanical garden.
2. Take cooming or baking class
3. Join a dance class
4.  Book a fancy hotel
5. Dress up and go out on a date night
6. Netflix together
7. Take a long hot relaxing bath together
8. Go out and sing your heart out of karaoke 🎤
9. Go to an ice rink
10. Exchange gifts/ write top 10 reasons why you chose each other and read them to each other.

Lets talk,

How do you feel about valentines day?

Oh Lord, This Is Too Much!

2019, one of the worst years ever I've experienced. This year, not only have I lost my dad, I have now lost 3 of my close friends. How do I deal with all of this? Who will I talk to? Who will mock me? I have lost more than I can afford to lose. This is draining me. It's taking a lot of my  energy. I cant focus. My mind is all over. Ohh Tebogo, childhood friend. Gone just like that. Nico, childhood friend. Gone like that. Lutendo, the one that drives me crazy 🤪 because he doesn't listen. Also gone just like that. Shuuu this 3 knew me very well and understood me. I will miss you so much ❤ ❤ ❤. You've been soo real to me. Managed to make me smile on my bad days. Lutendo, lol you the worst. Carrying my bag from school to home and having to walk back to Umthambeka. Taking your one and only cell phone 📱 and give it to me without asking questions. Dude not to mention the airtime we got me and Kgomotso Makgato. You were a big part of our lives, you will always be. You never judged us or gave us any reasons to doubt you. With you, we were always happy. Lol 😂 you'd dodge work just to make sure my events are well guarded. Talk about (protect and serve)Dude who will mock us? Lutendo!!! 😭💔😞. Please be a good Angel 😇 to your family, your son and to us your friends. Rest in peace Tendy. Luhaha, Mr Levi's 🤣😂. Rest easy buddy.

Finding Healing

It's been two months since I've burried my dad. The only person who filled the friend, boyfriend and father positions in my life. I dont know how I've managed to make it this far without him. Dad, I miss you. Since he's been gone I don't want to lie, it's hard to make friends, to go out and socialize. All I do is to remain indoors and do nothing. Ive lost my sense of life. I turn to go deep in thoughts and lose myself. Will this pain ever end?. Those that know the pain of losing a parent say with time i will be fine. I honestly doubt. The relationship I had with my dad was more than just a dad and daughter relationship. I've lost the will to do anything. I miss you pops. I love you so much daddy.

No Feelings I'm Numb

I don't even know what heading to give to this page. You know when one is hit by tragedy, first people to support you should be your immediate family. Well ke on my case friends became my immediate family. I recently lost my dad, the only person who gets me proper, the only man I trust In  this physical world. I went to hospital every weekend, not even my own mother would ask hows your dad or how is your journey or let alone how are you? Huh aint mothers supposed to be our backbones though? Well I guess I aint the lucky. As for my siblings well we don't share the same father so I guess it's that thing of argh we also went through the same thing, so you can also survive. Growing up huh? Then yall say your immediate family is your true family. Oh ok alright! My dad passed. Did anyone ask how are you, how are you doing, what's the plan, funeral arrangements? Well none. Not even the so called causins. In such situations I believe this is where families come together and help each other to deal with this ordeal. I went from A to Z alone. Not even a single sole from my mother's family said or did anything. Maybe it's true that you would never understand untill it happens to you. Do I blame them? Nope. Do I forget? Hell No. You see a family that has favorites neh? It never comes together. A family with people who think they are better than the others, never come together. Basically there's no love and respect. We need to learn to respect each other's hustles and appreciate the little things they do or give. Share simple happy moments together. I know they don't like my father and they never did but what they did was Savage😪. To date none has said anything even my own mother. But well it's life after all right?. I'm going through this whole situation alone and I'm honestly trying so hard to be fine. Thanks to supportive friends and dads siblings. Rakgadi, Rangwane Kea leboga. It will never be the same I know but hey I'm learning day by day. Going through counseling for abuse encountered from my then husband and the loss of my father and Im doing OK. It will take time but I know I will be good. I try by all means to write all this hurt so that I can release it from my heart and live better🤗🌺💖. I myself am not an angel. I have my own wrongs and I hope if there's anything wrong I did that I didn't notice, please tell me and I will humbly apologize🌞.  I sometimes contamplate on suicide because of all this, especially when there's no support from home and everyone just gives you the look and say nothing. God kele ngwana wa gao ketla mo pele ga Gago, ke kgopela maatla, bohlale le bophelo. Amen🎗️🙏

Dear Dad...

Everything was fine, everything was going ok. How did we get to this stage? Is this really happening? Vele i lost you? Just like that? Dude the pain you left me with i cant bare it. Its way too painful daddy. I want to believe that you are in a better place now. Where theres no pain. Yes pops you were in so much pain i didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to talk to you. But i was always there by your side. You couldn't even see me properly, you only knew it was me because of my voice. I watched you every weekend screaming in pain. It was way much for me to handle. However I've never thought that you would leave me. I prayed day in and out. The last time i saw you was the most painful day of my life. How you were screaming of pain  how you were breathing. You didn't even look like the guy i know. My best friend... Ive never lived my life not even a week would pass without us talking. Now no you and i dont know how to begin. Daddy ntse ole strong hlem, what happened? Theres so much i wanted to tell you. The last weekend i saw you i asked you to heal and you said ketla leka ngwanaka... Those words they gave me hope daddy. I held your fingers and your vibrating yeeer. Kanty that was your goodbye. You know im your girl and without you things are gonna be hard. 💞 Dude can i see you one last time ke??? Papa.. Love you soo much... And you know that!

Gift of Giving

Rebecca Masina

Amukelani Rikhotso (25) a young lady from Ivory park, Midrand, has managed to do what most youths of today couldn’t do. She’s young but already thinking ahead. Youths at her age are already thinking of alcohol, what to wear and who to milk. Amu is one of a kind. She decided to start her own business (Amus Hair Therapy) where she sells wigs and Brazilian weaves. The business so far is doing well and she’s not giving up. She says her motivation is money and laughs.

The Good out of Amu.

Amukelani decided to give back to the community with the little that she has. Mind you she is not from a rich or a well-established family. All that she is doing is to create a better life and living for herself and family. Isn’t what all youths are supposed to be doing, since well it is almost impossible getting a job these days if you don’t know anyone is any industry.

Today she has decided to start an initiative #TakeAGirlToMatricDance, here she makes sure that girls from different schools that cannot afford to go to matric dance are able to go there. She provided them with hair, makeup, and dresses.

Amus Inspirations

She wishes to see her business grow into something big and her being able to help those who cannot help themselves. Amukelani also wishes to build a home for the disadvantaged and abused. Not everyone can do what she is doing; it definitely has to be from the heart.

Those who would like to contact her can do so, on the following contacts

Contract: 0718151253

Email: amu1.rikhotso@gmail.com

My BABY FIRST

 

By Rebecca Masina

 

 

We fall in love, and it is all great and all that.  All the confusions go away. You love more than anything as if he has bought you the heaven on earth. Making it easier to stand on both feet. It hurts but feels so damn good right? You don’t know what to do because you are so in love and the feeling it’s indescribable. It is so sweet that you know what, you say screw condom. Screw protection. It's soo nice so precious so amazing.

Months down the line you are pregnant and then the reality kicks in. He kicks you out of his place. What have you done? You left your apartment that your parents were paying for you to stay at. You went on to live with him without telling your parents that you now have a boyfriend and you live with him why?? Because you knew they wouldn't allow fat n sit right? It hurts yet it is great. That the feeling you get when you are in love.

The world becomes the best place to live in. After he has kicked you out with your three months tummy and you have lost your job, you now resort to going back home and tell your parents that you are expecting and the father of your child is not interested. What are we doing to our parent's though? They sent us to school to better our lives and we give them masepa as a thank you.

However with that said, ladies, the best thing to do is to put your baby first, and the rest shall come later. No need to rush. No need to feel like you need a man to keep your life going. And the most important fact that ladies should know is that it is a blessing to have a child but only when the blessing came at the right time.

Put your baby first. Men later,

 

Remember no one makes the other one pregnant but the both of you made a baby. You know very well the results of unprotected sex. Don’t act.

Do not give babies to girlfriends and boyfriends,

Lesson learned the hard way

Beautiful Young Lady

By Rebecca Masina

Beautiful, as you are you still don’t know what you want in life but a man to keep you busy? Mara why?  How about you seek someone who’s going to instil self-love and appreciation than to make you think that you are nothing without them? Ausy you deserve better than you think you do. Choose education and success before men. Men will always be there. It’s not like when you choose to go to school and become independent you going to find them dead or taken.

Raetsa, if he’s not yours he aint yours lovey. Stop forcing. You are only 22 years of age but already crying about a man who doesn’t give you attention, keng wa gafa? Do you know what your age mates are thinking about? Career objectives, books, cars, clothes and success and wena you are here thinking about a man whose not even your age but your parents age. Are you sure you are ok? We not judging but hey. There’s more to life than men nana. The worst thing about all this is that, the man that you are crying about is married and has a family and he’s educated with master’s degree in engineering. Wena dololo. 

Wake up, phaphama love. Most girls would die to have their own hoses, cars and great careers. But wena all you do is to think about a man who’s not giving you attention at the age of 22? Huh. A lady should be self-motivated and men should be running after you while you walking with your six inch heels babe and some Brazilian or Peruvian weave lovey.  

Do not neglect yourself because of love, hell no love won’t pay bills and definitely men won give you success. At least if you were with a guy that advices you to go to school and get your degree in whatever you are ambitious about. Unless wena you are ambitious about him then aretse. 

Skado you are still young and deserve much more than a man who is married with kids and only gives you attention when he wants your ass.  Fortunately you don’t have a kid with him, move on and look for your age mates, people who will instil morals in your head, self-love and intelligent. Remember kuku ya hao won’t work for you forever but your education will take you an long way. 

REJECTION

By Rebecca

Rejection is the most painful yet the best lesson in life. Have you ever been rejected? It doesn’t not matter how you get rejected but hey it really hit the nerve hey. The pain you get from being rejected is super deep. It’s like you have been stabbed with a sharp knife. We all in some way have been rejected and we all handle rejection differently.

Love… something so nice yet very hard to find. Something so amazing yet comes with the biggest hurt ever. We mostly love where we are not loved and we turn to not even notice that until we are hurt or rejected. I don’t think there is master of handling rejection. If you are there contact us, share with us on how to handle it.

It is said and believed that where we are lived we don’t love. Well there’s always a lesson there hey. Have you ever had a time where you thought you and that person are dating but ai ke that person is on some friend zone tip? Well that on its own its rejection at best.

We later realized that being single and minding your own business is actually the best and let love come when it’s ready and you as well.  I thin rejection is a lesson for us to put focus on ourselves and live life to the fullest.

Tae note, rejection hurts big time.